Thursday, May 31, 2007

Celeb Rage Remix of The Day

Babs goes off on a concert heckler - the dance version.
(Caution: foul language)

Click pic to hear. LINK FIXED.

Classic TV Show Open of The Day

(click photo to watch)

Dear god - I don't remember this one, and for that I am thankful.

Trivia 1: A rumor persists (which started with show producer Garry Marshall and star Scott Baio) that the show's premiere was the highest-rated ever on Korean television because the word "chachi" sounds much like a Korean slang word for penis ("jaw-jee").

Trivia 2: The show was an instant hit as a mid-season replacement in 1982, but only lasted one more season because it was up against a new NBC hit show: The A-Team.

My action figure favorites

A few favorites from my action figure collection.

The boys won't let Shatner anywhere near the microphone since they saw the "Rocket Man" video.

STOP! Hammer time!!

Steven Seagal should've done this years ago.

The new David Hasselhoff Drunken Action Figure lets you re-create the popular web video...

... and comes with a special Drunken Hoff POV Trading Card.

Sorry, B.A., but when you refuse to fly, transportation options are limited.

When Angus found out that Peggy Hill was an AC/DC fan, he not only let her up on stage, but gave her the coveted task of ringing Hell's Bell.

"Haiiiii! I feel clean!" James Brown by Celebriducks

The kids love this one. Ambulance and extra face sold separately.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Classic TV Show Open of The Day

I know I watched this show, but I remember very little about it for some reason. Great song, though, and now it will be stuck in your head all day. Heh heh.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Classic TV Show Open of The Day

This is one people always seem to remember. But watching it as an adult, I couldn't help but think - who the hell includes the maintenance man in their family photo?

Fates of The Twelve

Ever heard what happened to the original twelve apostles of Jesus after He was crucified? It's not pretty.

(click photo for large view)

1. Bartholomew - patron saint of Armenia, where he introduced Christianity and was skinned alive.

2. James (the Lesser) - some scholars believe him to be Jesus' brother. Stoned and clubbed to death in Jerusalem.

3. Andrew - brother of Peter, patron saint of Scotland. Crucified on an X-shaped cross after saying he was unworthy of being killed in the same manner as Jesus. The X cross became known as St. Andrew's Cross and is featured on Scotland's flag.

4. Judas Iscariot - betrayer of Jesus, hung himself after Jesus' death.

5. Peter - the "rock" of the Church and chief apostle, featured prominently in the New Testament. Like his brother Andrew, objected to being killed like Jesus, so he was crucified upside-down.

6. John - "beloved of Jesus," author of several books of the Bible, including Revelation. The only apostle to die a natural death after being exiled to the Greek island of Patmos, although some sources say the Romans first attempted to kill him in boiling oil. When he emerged uninjured, he was allowed to live. (Not to be confused with John the Baptist; two different people.)

7. Thomas - aka "The Doubter." Patron saint of India, where he was tortured and speared to death.

8. James (The Greater) - brother of John and the first apostle to be martyred when he was beheaded in AD 44.

9. Phillip - Preached in Greece and Asia Minor before being crucified.

10. Matthew - former Roman tax collector and author of the first gospel of the New Testament. Hacked to death by halberd (pike with an ax head) in Ethiopia.

11. Jude (Thaddeus) - In the Catholic Church, patron saint of lost causes. Clubbed or axed to death (sources disagree) in Persia.

12. Simon - aka The Zealot, traveled and preached with Jude. Killed in Persia by being sawed into pieces.

Good times!

Monday, May 28, 2007

RIP, Charles Nelson Reilly

Another TV staple from my youth has joined that great network in the sky.

5/28/07, AP: Charles Nelson Reilly, the Tony Award winner who later became known for his ribald appearances on the "Tonight Show" and various game shows, has died. He was 76.

Reilly died Friday in Los Angeles of complications from pneumonia, his partner, Patrick Hughes, told the New York Times.

Reilly began his career in New York City, taking acting classes at a studio with Steve McQueen, Geraldine Page and Hal Holbrook. In 1962, he appeared on Broadway as Bud Frump in the original Broadway production of "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying." The role won Reilly a Tony Award.

After moving to Hollywood in 1960s he appeared as the nervous Claymore Gregg on TV's "The Ghost and Mrs. Muir" and as a featured guest on "The Dean Martin Show."

He gained fame by becoming what he described as a "game show fixture" in the 1970s and 80s. He was a regular on programs like "Match Game" and "Hollywood Squares," often wearing giant glasses and colorful suits with ascots.

His larger-than-life persona and affinity for double-entendres also landed him on the "Tonight Show" with Johnny Carson more than 95 times.

Reilly ruefully admitted his wild game show appearances adversely affected his acting career. "You can't do anything else once you do game shows," he told The Advocate, the national gay magazine, in 2001. "You have no career."

Reilly's openly gay television persona was ahead of its time, and sometimes stood in his way. He recalled a network executive telling him "they don't let queers on television."

Friday, May 25, 2007

Diss of the Day

Ouch! Congrats, Alicia! You just showed the entire world what a classless bimbo you really are. But thanks for being a vegan; more meat for the rest of us!

Bad 70's Song Of The Day

"Afternoon Delight" by one-hit wonders The Starland Vocal Band. A song about nooners. I like how the men and women take turns singing their thoughts.

Click here to listen

15 Pearls of Wisdom

Or, "Things it took me over 50 years to learn." From Dave Barry.

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Guest List: "Beautiful" People

Celebs looking rough. A guest list from the lovely and talented Miellyn. Thanks, Mie!

George Clooney: He should thank God every day for the E.R. makeup artist who taught him about eyebrow waxing (He must really like apples - c)

Scarlett Johansson: Imagine the noise coming out of her mouth... and the Italian Ice spittle.

Matthew McConaughey: After blowing it out on White J Crew Shirt Friday, MM woke up the next morning naked in the swamp, nestled between his bongo drums and Lance.

Gwen Stefani: Her ad for the new clothing line, L.A.M.B. Pretty Plus.

Jamie Pressley: See what happens when you miss your botox?

Brooke Burke: Kids ruin everything.

Brad Pitt: On his way to audition for The Hank Williams, Jr. Story.

Brad Pitt: A nose is worth a million bucks. Brad tried on Barry Manilow's, but quickly returned it.

Jessica Simpson: Your mom called. She wants her jeans back.

Teri Hatcher: You might want the body of a 13-year-old, but that doesn't mean you should dress like one.

Charlize Theron: Little-known secret: Her only preparation for "Monster" was not putting on makeup. I just bought Revlon stock.

Starring Kelly Osbourne as Gothy the Tormented Klown-Grrrl. It's makeup, Kelly, not watercolor paint.

Britney Spears: Looking so much better now that her hair is growing back in.


Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Your turn: Hell's Jukebox


If Hell is a room with no exit, and one song played through a speaker over and over and over again for all eternity, what song would it be?

Instead of comments here, please e-mail me your picks at


Eastwood's Greatest Hits

*** Held over!

A series of goofy music videos a few of us did for the annual Clint Eastwood marathon at the cable network where we worked. We'd promoted these movies so many times already, we decided to do something a little different.

A Fistful of Dollars

Hang 'em High

Dirty Harry

Magnum Force

For A Few Dollars More

Escape From Alcatraz

Two Mules For Sister Sara

Kelly's Heroes

The Enforcer


The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

High Plains Drifter

Coogan's Bluff

Monday, May 21, 2007

Then and Now

Child stars grown up.

Danica McKellar ("The Wonder Years") - WOW!

Justin Henry ("Kramer vs. Kramer")

Erin Moran ("Happy Days")

Jeremy Miller ("Growing Pains")

Melissa Gilbert ("Little House On The Prairie")

Adam Rich ("Eight Is Enough")

Mayim Bialik ("Blossom")

Lisa & Louise Burns
("The Shining")

Peter Billingsley ("A Christmas Story")

Mindy Cohn ("The Facts Of Life")

Robbie Rist ("The Brady Bunch")

Tina Yothers ("Family Ties")

Brandon Cruz ("The Courtship Of Eddie's Father")

Lisa Whelchel ("The Facts Of Life")

Brian Forster ("The Patridge Family")

Kim Fields ("The Facts Of Life")

Danny Lloyd ("The Shining")

Melissa Sue Anderson ("Little House On The Prairie")

Brian Bonsall ("Family Ties")

Danielle Brisebois ("All In The Family")

Jonathan Taylor Thomas ("Home Improvement")

Elizabeth McGovern ("Ordinary People")

Saturday, May 19, 2007

1974 Billboard Top 50

Some great. Some godawful. Several (light blue) I've never even heard of. Funny how most of the top 10 is forgotten dog squeeze, while classics (The Joker, Nothing From Nothing, Living For The City) are buried deep in the list.

The Way We Were » Barbra Streisand
Seasons In The Sun » Terry Jacks - UGH!
Love's Theme » Love Unlimited Orchestra
Come And Get Your Love » Redbone
Dancing Machine » Jackson 5
The Loco-Motion » Grand Funk Railroad
The Streak » Ray Stevens
- UGH!
Bennie And The Jets » Elton John
One Hell Of A Woman » Mac Davis
Until You Come Back To Me (That's What I'm Gonna Do) » Aretha Franklin
Jungle Boogie » Kool & The Gang
Midnight At The Oasis » Maria Muldaur
You Make Me Feel Brand New » Stylistics
- UGH!
Show And Tell » Al Wilson
Spiders And Snakes » Jim Stafford
Rock On » David Essex
Sunshine On My Shoulder » John Denver
Sideshow » Blue Magic
Hooked On A Feeling » Blue Swede
Billy Don't Be A Hero » Bo Donaldson & The Heywoods
- UGH!
Band On The Run » Paul McCartney & Wings
The Most Beautiful Girl » Charlie Rich
Time In A Bottle » Jim Croce
Annie's Song » John Denver
- UGH!
Let Me Be There » Olivia Newton-John
Sundown » Gordon Lightfoot
(You're) Having My Baby » Paul Anka
- UGH!
Rock Me Gently » Andy Kim
Boogie Down » Eddie Kendricks
You're Sixteen » Ringo Starr
If You Love Me (Let Me Know) » Olivia Newton-John
Dark Lady » Cher
Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me » Gladys Knight & The Pips
Feel Like Makin' Love » Roberta Flack
Just Dont Want To Be Lonely » Main Ingredient
Nothing From Nothing » Billy Preston
Rock Your Baby » George McCrae
Top Of The World » Carpenters
- (UGH! I like them but this one sucks)
The Joker » Steve Miller Band
I've Got To Use My Imagination » Gladys Knight & The Pips
The Show Must Go On » Three Dog Night
Rock The Boat » Hues Corporation
Smokin' In The Boys Room » Brownsville Station
Living For The City » Stevie Wonder
The Night Chicago Died » Paper Lace
- UGH!
Then Came You » Dionne Warwick & The Spinners
The Entertainer » Marvin Hamlisch
Waterloo » Abba
The Air That I Breathe » Hollies

Worst Endings to TV Series

From Maxim magazine

Twin Peaks

We never quite got Twin Peaks, what with its waltzing midgets and dense dream sequences involving pregnant, shrieking coyote-women. Its unresolved cliff-hanger ending, in which Special Agent Cooper sorta half-becomes the baddie Bob, didn't help matters much. It's never a good thing when viewers can't understand what's going on without the assistance of somebody armed with Cliffs Notes, diagrams, and, for reenactment purposes, sock puppets.

So wait—Sydney was working for the secret, secret, secret quasi-governmental cabal or the secret, secret ULTRA-secret one? Prophet 5, SD-6, The Covenant, Rambaldi… What's this about who's what? If this impenetrably plotted show had dressed Jennifer Garner as conservatively as the Law & Order gals, it'd have been off the air in about 18 seconds.

Quantum Leap
You gotta love shows on the cusp of cancellation that don't see the writing on the wall. The last Quantum Leap, a fairly typical episode with somewhat of a cliff-hanger ending, was appended with a simple "Dr. Sam Beckett never returned home," which would've been all well and good, except for the fact that the entire show was premised on the dude returning home. It was the prime-time drama equivalent of a football game ending in the middle of the third quarter without an explanation.

After Bruce Willis started mowing down baddies in Die Hard and Cybill Shepherd squeezed out her twins (which accounted for her absence in the postcoital fourth season), neither star had the slightest interest in being on the show anymore. So you send them out quickly and quietly, right? Uh, no. The last Moonlighting ep showed Maddie and David rushing around like vertiginous chickens as the show's set was disassembled around them; they even got lectured by ABC executives. There's a fine line between "breaking the fourth wall" between viewer and show and "crapping" all "over" "a creative endeavor" that had once "meant something" to a gazillion "viewers."

The Sopranos
We're putting this one on the list a few weeks in advance (and no, we haven't received advance screeners). If David Chase and co. stubbornly refused to tell us the fate of the Russian left in the woods way back in season three, we have little hope that they'll answer any of our other questions. Our best guess: The Sopranos ends with Tony eating something (turkey? gelato?) with the same look of bemused annoyance that he's worn for the last three seasons shrouding his face. And every reviewer in the universe will laud Chase's "bravery" for having plotted such a daring, dramatically unconventional climax.

St. Elsewhere
After multiple seasons of Howie Mandel high jinks, we learned that the whole thing took place (or didn't take place) in the mind of an autistic kid. No, seriously.


Leaving the gang in prison after finding them guilty of violating a Good Samaritan law—what's up with that? (Utter that last clause in a nasal, New Yawk whine, if you will.) The conclusion may have been true to the show's no-hugs, no-learning blueprint, but it wasn't remotely…what's the word we're looking for here…funny, perhaps? Costanza deserved better.


The show spent its final season methodically and nonsensically killing off most of its memorable characters (e.g.: Warden Leo Glynn got stabbed as part of some conspiracy involving the governor and Said got shanked for being too righteous or something). But the blow-off of the series-long Beecher vs. Schillinger subplot remains several levels beyond unforgivable. After all the rape, kid-killing, face-pooping, and sublime nastiness, Beecher accidentally kills Schillinger during a prison performance of Macbeth? That's all we get for our emotional investment in the feud? Fuck you. Really. Fuck you.

The X Files
By the time The X Files was mercifully euthanized—roughly 40 episodes too late—the show's black-oil, sewn-eyed-aliens conspiracy had long since ventured into the realm of the absurd. In the finale, the show attempted, through some kind of court-martial proceeding involving Mulder and lots of flashbacks, to dig itself out from under a trash heap of red herrings. Alas, the explanation made things even worse—it exposed plenty of holes in the storytelling. And that was before a helicopter materialized out of nowhere and killed the Cigarette Smoking Man for the 11th time.


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