Thursday, January 31, 2008

Rerun Of The Day: Poorly Placed Ads

Oopsy.




The ad reads, "Dad, what would happen to Mommy and me if you died." Yikes.











The ad on the bus reads, "If you don't have GIO Third Party Property Insurance, we suggest you don't hit this bus."





Photos from Oddee.com, UtterlyBoring.com, CNN, Yahoo, Fox News and other sources.

Classic TV Show Open of The Day

I don't remember watching this one. Looks like I missed out on something wonderful.

Really Bad Dating Profile Videos Of The Day

Yuks from LOTD reader Andrea and Esquire.com.

Sam

Profile headline: “Hi, I’m a PC.”

Major mistakes: Mentioning how you are specifically looking for a girl with red hair because “I used to date a girl with red hair who is really special to me.” Also, having "perfectprofile" as your MySpace page kinda sets him up for failure.

Conclusion: No girl wants a guy who’s going to make them wear a mask of his ex-girlfriend’s face while they have sex, especially when you know it will end with a tearful orgasm and mumbled whispers of regret. And if she does she’s probably fat.


Chandelier


Profile headline: “If you’re looking to settle down into a relationship that moves way too fast and is intense and miserable from the get-go, I’m your girl.”

Major mistakes: She was actually doing pretty well, right between the part where she put on those sunglasses and the part where she revealed that she will eventually choose her husband based on his footwear and ring tone. But it’s probably good to discount three-quarters of the male population for wearing black shoes and not downloading hip-hop ring tones. That can’t possibly fail.

Conclusion: Chandelier is a stupid name.


Asshole

Profile headline: “What rhymes with d-bag?”

Major mistakes: “Don’t rap your online dating profile” is one of those rules that’s just so obvious that no one thinks to reinforce it. It’s like “Don’t climb up on your boss’ desk and take a dump.” You just know it’s wrong, don’t you?

Conclusion: Many, many girls will go for this guy. And all of them will have herpes.


Looking For Mr. Greenbud: Pot Products Of The Day

The DEA made several major busts in 2007 of companies that were producing pot-laced food and drink products based on actual brands. Check out the names of the seized merchandise. Hilarious. From The Smoking Gun.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Rerun Of The Day: Celebs Behaving Badly

Audio recordings of famous people being little bitches. Most of these have been around for years, but if you haven't heard them yet, you're in for a treat. Click the pic to hear someone go off.

Rated R for hilariously foul language.


Jack Palance loves doing voiceover.


Casey Kasem has some issues with a special long-distance dedication to a dog named Snuggles.


William Shatner doesn't like taking direction. But we already knew this from his acting.


Britney Spears doesn't like her band or her concert audience, and says so -- over her mic, so they can hear it. Oopsy.


Cher shares some feelings with paparazzi - and who can blame her?


Crusty old forgotten singer Paul Anka has a wardobe suggestion for his band, and some valuable tips on flying, too!


A classic - Orson Welles peddling fish sticks and hamburgers. I played Lear, goddamn you!!

Caption This Photo Of The Day

Anyone? (Click pic for a larger view.)

The Top 10 Baby Names of 2007

.

From BabyCenter.com (full article here includes the top 100 for each gender), which explains, "Names are from a database of over 300,000 names given to registered BabyCenter readers' babies born in the United States between January and October of 2007." Not a huge sample, but judging by my child's classmates, they nailed it.

The boys' top ten includes Aiden, Caden and Jayden, but not Hayden or Rayden.

Girls
  1. Sophia
  2. Isabella
  3. Emma
  4. Madison
  5. Ava
  6. Addison
  7. Hailey
  8. Emily
  9. Kaitlyn
  10. Olivia
Boys
  1. Aiden
  2. Ethan
  3. Jacob
  4. Jayden
  5. Caden
  6. Noah
  7. Jackson
  8. Jack
  9. Logan
  10. Matthew

Videos Of The Day: Extras

This Ricky Gervais series on HBO is long gone -- they did two 6-episode seasons and a wrap-up movie -- but I still watch the reruns when I can, because the show makes me laugh as hard as anything else I've ever seen. Both seasons are on DVD, and I highly recommend them.

If you aren't familiar with "Extras," it starred Ricky as an extra (or "background actor," as he prefers to call himself) whose work brought him and his friend Maggie (Ashley Jensen), also a movie extra, in contact with big-name actors (Kate Winslet, Ian McKellen, Orlando Bloom, etc.). These A-list actors appeared in the show and had great fun sending themselves up.

Some clips...

Andy (Ricky Gervais) auditions for a play directed by Ian McKellen, who explains his complex acting method.



Andy and Maggie talk to Kate Winslet the day after Kate has given Maggie advice about how to talk dirty on the phone with her new boyfriend, who wants her to be more sexually daring.



Andy and Maggie meet David Bowie at a club, and Andy makes the mistake of complaining about the lousy sitcom he's been doing.



Maggie meets Orlando Bloom on a movie set



Daniel Radcliffe hits on Maggie.



Daniel Radcliffe continues his pursuit of Maggie. Extra points if you recognize the older woman (an A-list star herself, once upon a time).



Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Movie Trailer Of The Day: In Bruges

I don't really care much for Colin Farrell, but this looks good. Midg Little people are always good for a laugh.


video

WTF?! Video Of The Day

Um, ok.. but I laughed. From Spinderfella.

25 Best Opening Lyrics Of All Time (?)

From Spinner.com

25. "You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar..." (Human League, "Don't You Want Me?")

24. "I've been a bad, bad girl..." (Fiona Apple, "Criminal")

23. "You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips..." (The Righteous Brothers, "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling")

22. "Go shorty. It's your birthday..." (50 Cent, "In Da Club")

21. "Hello darkness, my old friend..." (Simon and Garfunkel, "The Sounds of Silence")

20. "I am an antichrist...." (The Sex Pistols, "Anarchy In The U.K.")

19. "Well I guess it would be nice if I could touch your body..." (George Michael, "Faith")

18. "We don't smoke marijuana in Muskogee.." (Merle Haggard, "Okie From Muskokee")

17. "I was dreaming when I wrote this..." (Prince, "1999")

16. "Pigs, they tend to wiggle when they walk" (Pavement, "Stereo")

15. "She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene..." (Michael Jackson, "Billie Jean")

14. "There must be some kind of way out of here, said the joker to the thief..." (Jimi Hendrix, "All Along The Watchtower")

13. "What's with these homies dissin' my girl?" (Weezer, "Buddy Holly")

12. "A candy-colored clown they call the sandman tiptoes to my room every night..." (Roy Orbison, "In Dreams")

11. "Oh I just don't know where to begin..." (Elvis Costello, "Accidents Will Happen")

10. "Tommy used to work on the docks..." (Bon Jovi, "Livin' On A Prayer")

9. "Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine..." (Patti Smith, "Gloria")

8. "Well it's one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, now go, cat, go" (Carl Perkins, "Blue Suede Shoes")

7. "In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey..." (Beck, "Loser")

6. "Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?" (The Carpenters, "Close To You")

5. "Don't call it a comeback..." (LL Cool J, "Mama Said Knock You Out")

4. "Well she was just seventeen, you know what I mean" (The Beatles, "I Saw Her Standing There")

3. "Hey, ho, let's go!" (The Ramones, "Blitzkrieg Bop")

2. "I was born in a crossfire hurricane..." (The Rolling Stones, "Jumpin' Jack Flash")

1. "She's a very kinky girl..." (Rick James, "Superfreak")

Yeah, I'm not really feeling it with this list. There are about 8 good picks here, and the rest are throwaways. Human League? Bon Jovi? Meh. What about...

"She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean..."

"Hello, is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me."

"If you knew Peggy Sue, then you'd know why I feel blue..."

"Got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack, I went out for a ride and I never came back..."

"I went home with the waitress the way I always do, how was I to know she was with the Russians, too?"

"Southern man, better keep your head, don't forget what your good book said..."

"We'll be fighting in the street, with our children at our feet..."

What opening lines do you think should be on this list?

QOTD: Your Favorite Epithets

What are your go-to names for someone who pisses you off?

If I'm annoyed, that person is a jackass. If I'm really mad, he/she is a motherfucker.

How about you?

Bumper Stickers Of The Day

A great idea from Dr. Toni. Check out her "Everything Health" blog and learn something. Because you won't learn anything on this one, bud.



































LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails