Wednesday, October 8, 2008

News Of The Day: Why I Hate Hugh Hefner

Sumbitch still gets more ass than a bus station toilet.

Hugh Hefner on Holly: "It's Over!"

Marc Malkin
E! Online
Wed Oct 8, 11:48 AM ET

It's really over.

Hugh Hefner confirms he and Holly Madison are no longer.

"If she says it's over, it's over," Hefner tells me. "But like I've said before, she is the love of my life, and I expected to spend the rest of my life with her."

The Playboy mogul says the relationship started to crumble about six months ago when they learned he was unable to father a child with Holly.

"With my sperm count, it's not possible," Hefner explained. "I was willing but it was not possible…She'd like to be married and have children, but it's not in the cards here for me."

Where does that leave the other two Girls Next Door, Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt? Hefner says they're still romantically involved, but admitted, "the relationship with Kendra will be ending when she moves out, probably by the end of this year."

Hef ain't wasting anytime getting back in the saddle though. In the last week, he's been spotted with 19-year-old twins Kristina and Karissa Shannon (pictured above).

"They very much want to be girlfriends and now under the present circumstance, they probably will become my girlfriends," Hefner says.

And they're not all he has to look forward to. A college senior from Georgia whom Hefner identifies as Amy Leigh Andrews is also waiting in the wings.

"She was testing here this past weekend," Hef says of the centerfold wannabe, "and she said she'd like to be a girlfriend, too."

The 82-year-old Hefner laughed, "I'm dancing as fast as I can."

Phobias Of The Day

A frightful list from Gina in the UK, who scares me with her freakish grace and charm.

What about fear of fear? Or fear of fear of fear? Or fear of the reaper?

I have a mild form of ceraunophobia. Those sudden, unexpected blasts of thunder make me want to crawl under a bed. How about you?

Achluophobia - fear of darkness.
Acousticophobia - fear of noise.
Acrophobia - fear of heights.
Agoraphobia - fear of open spaces or of being in crowded places.
Ailurophobia - fear of cats.
Alektorophobia - fear of chickens.
Alliumphobia - fear of garlic.
Allodoxaphobia - fear of opinions.
Altophobia - fear of heights.
Amaxophobia - fear of riding in a car.
Ambulophobia - fear of walking.
Ancraophobia or Anemophobia - fear of wind.
Androphobia - fear of men.
Anglophobia - fear of England, English culture, etc.
Anthrophobia - fear of flowers.
Antlophobia - fear of floods.
Anuptaphobia - fear of staying single.
Apeirophobia - fear of infinity.
Aphenphosmphobia - fear of being touched.
Apiphobia - fear of bees.
Apotemnophobia - fear of persons with amputations.
Arachnephobia/Arachnophobia - fear of spiders.
Arithmophobia - fear of numbers.
Arrhenphobia - fear of men.
Arsonphobia - fear of fire.
Astraphobia/Astrapophobia - fear of thunder and lightning.
Astrophobia - fear of stars/space.
Ataxophobia - fear of disorder or untidiness.
Atelophobia - fear of imperfection.
Athazagoraphobia - fear of being forgotton or ignored or forgetting.
Atychiphobia - fear of failure.
Aurophobia - fear of gold.
Automatonophobia - fear of ventriloquist's dummies, statues, etc.
Automysophobia - fear of being dirty.
Autophobia - fear of being alone or of oneself.
Aviophobia/Aviatophobia - fear of flying.

Bacillophobia - fear of microbes.
Bacteriophobia - fear of bacteria.
Bathmophobia - fear of stairs or steep slopes.
Batophobia - fear of heights.
Batrachophobia - fear of amphibians (like frogs)
Belonephobia - fear of pins and needles.
Bibliophobia - fear of books.
Botanophobia - fear of plants.
Brontophobia - fear of thunder and lightning.

Cacophobia - fear of ugliness.
Cainophobia/Cainotophobia - fear of newness, novelty.
Caligynephobia - fear of beautiful women.
Carnophobia - fear of meat.
Catagelophobia - fear of being ridiculed.
Catoptrophobia - fear of mirrors.
Cenophobia / Centophobia - fear of new things or ideas.
Ceraunophobia - fear of thunder.
Chaetophobia - fear of hair.
Chionophobia - fear of snow.
Chiraptophobia - fear of being touched.
Chirophobia - fear of hands.
Chorophobia - fear of dancing.
Chrometophobia/Chrematophobia - fear of money.
Chromophobia/Chromatophobia - fear of colors.
Chronomentrophobia - fear of clocks.
Cibophobia/Sitophobia/Sitiophobia - fear of food.
Claustrophobia - fear of confined spaces.
Climacophobia - fear of stairs.
Clinophobia - fear of going to bed.
Coimetrophobia - fear of cemeteries.
Coulrophobia - fear of clowns.
Cyberphobia - fear of computers.
Cyclophobia - fear of bicycles.
Cymophobia - fear of waves.
Cynophobia - fear of dogs.

Demophobia - fear of crowds.
Dendrophobia - fear of trees.
Dentophobia - fear of dentists.
Didaskaleinophobia - fear of going to school.
Dipsophobia - fear of drinking.
Dishabiliophobia - fear of undressing in front of someone.
Dromophobia - fear of crossing streets.

Eisoptrophobia - fear of mirrors.
Elurophobia - fear of cats.
Emetophobia - fear of vomiting.
Entomophobia - fear of insects.
Ephebiphobia - fear of teenagers.
Epistaxiophobia - fear of nosebleeds.
Equinophobia - fear of horses.
Ergophobia - fear of work.

Felinophobia - fear of cats.

Gamophobia - fear of marriage.
Geliophobia - fear of laughter.
Genophobia - fear of sex.
Gephyrophobia, Gephydrophobia, or Gephysrophobia - fear of crossing bridges.
Gerascophobia - fear of growing old.
Glossophobia - fear of speaking in public or of trying to speak.
Gynephobia/Gynophobia - fear of women.

Haphephobia/Haptephobia - fear of being touched.
Harpaxophobia - fear of being robbed.
Heliophobia - fear of the sun.
Hemophobia/Hemaphobia/Hematophobia - fear of blood.
Hierophobia - fear of priests or sacred things.
Hominophobia - fear of men.
Hylophobia - fear of forests.

Iatrophobia - fear of doctors.
Ichthyophobia - fear of fish.

Judeophobia - fear of Jews.

Keraunophobia - fear of thunder and lightning.
Kymophobia - fear of waves.

Lachanophobia - fear of vegetables.
Ligyrophobia - fear of loud noises.
Limnophobia - fear of lakes.
Liticaphobia - fear of lawsuits.
Lockiophobia - fear of childbirth.
Logizomechanophobia - fear of computers.
Logophobia - fear of words.
Lygophobia - fear of darkness.

Macrophobia - fear of long waits.
Mageirocophobia - fear of cooking.
Maieusiophobia - fear of childbirth.
Megalophobia - fear of large things.
Melissophobia - fear of bees.
Methyphobia - fear of alcohol.
Microphobia - fear of small things.
Misophobia - fear of being contaminated with dirt/germs.
Monophobia - fear of solitude or being alone.
Motorphobia - fear of automobiles.
Musophobia/Murophobia - fear of mice.

Necrophobia - fear of death / dead things.
Neophobia - fear of anything new.
Nosocomephobia - fear of hospitals.
Numerophobia - fear of numbers.

Ochlophobia - fear of crowds or mobs.
Ophidiophobia - fear of snakes.
Ophthalmophobia - fear of being stared at.
Ornithophobia - fear of birds.

Pedophobia - fear of children.
Peladophobia - fear of bald people.
Phasmophobia - fear of ghosts.
Placophobia - fear of tombstones.
Plutophobia - fear of wealth.
Pogonophobia - fear of beards.
Potamophobia - fear of rivers or running water.
Pteronophobia - fear of being tickled by feathers.
Pupaphobia - fear of puppets.
Pyrophobia - fear of fire.

Rhytiphobia - fear of getting wrinkles.
Rupophobia - fear of dirt.

Scolionophobia - fear of school.
Selachophobia - fear of sharks.
Sesquipedalophobia - fear of long words.

Tachophobia - fear of speed.
Technophobia - fear of technology.
Telephonophobia - fear of telephones.
Testophobia - fear of taking tests.
Theophobia - fear of gods or religion.
Trypanophobia - fear of injections.

Venustraphobia - fear of beautiful women.
Verbophobia - fear of words.
Verminophobia - fear of germs.
Vestiphobia - fear of clothing.

Xenoglossophobia - fear of foreign languages.

Zoophobia - fear of animals

Vid Of The Day: Water Park Prank

It's all fun and games until that guy gets his ass kicked.


Link from TheMovieGuru - thanks, dude.

Vid Of The Day: The Date

Another one from "The Catherine Tate Show" (BBC), courtesy of David B.


Top 25 Drunks Of The Day (NSFW)

Been there, done that, got the hangover. Some pics contain nudity (NSFW).

My thanks to Willie, Jimmy T. and TheMovieGuru for the pics.

(Update: I took out the dead guy.)


























Classic TV Show Open Of The Day

You asked for it. But I'm glad you did, because this is one of the best sitcoms ever created. The production value is unparalleled. I really dig Mom's jumpsuit, too. Those should come back in style.


"That Guy" Supporting Actors Of The Day

You've seen them a thousand times, but I bet you can't name one of them... until now.

William Fichtner

Where You've Seen Him: Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, Prison Break, Black Hawk Down, The Perfect Storm
You might have missed him in: Malcolm X, as "Cop at Harlem station"
To Me, He'll Always Be: the creepy alien sheriff in the short-lived ABC suckfest, Invasion
A poor man's... Kevin Bacon

Joaquim de Almeida

Where You've Seen Him: 24, Clear And Present Danger, Desperado, Behind Enemy Lines
You might have missed him in: Everything he's ever done except 24 or Clear And Present Danger
To Me, He'll Always Be: the bad guy in Clear And Present Danger
A poor man's... Al Pacino with an accent, minus all the yelling

J.K. Simmons

Where You've Seen Him: Juno, Spider-Man, Thank You For Smoking, every Law & Order series ever made
You might have missed him in: The Dale Earnhardt Story
To Me, He'll Always Be: sadistic neo-Nazi Vern Schillinger in Oz, who burned a swastika into poor Lee Tergesen's butt cheeks
A poor man's... Ed Harris, sans flannel

Noah Emmerich

Where You've Seen Him: Miracle, Cop Land, Melrose Place
You might have missed him in: If Someone Had Known, starring Kellie Martin. Tuesday night at 9 on Lifetime.
To Me, He'll Always Be: Jim Carrey's fake friend in The Truman Show
A poor man's... chemically burned Jon Favreau (and a cinch to make the next installment of my Celebrity Skin Club)

Stephen Tobolowski

Where You've Seen Him: Memento, Thelma & Louise, Deadwood, CSI: Miami
You might have missed him in: Alien Fury: Countdown to Invasion
To Me, He'll Always Be: Ned Ryerson, insurance salesman and punching bag for Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.
A poor man's... William H. Macy

James Cromwell

Where You've Seen Him: Um, I dunno... in everything?
You might have missed him in: Birth Of A Nation (1915), as Lillian Gish's grandpa
To Me, He'll Always Be: Archie's co-worker Stretch Cunningham on All In The Family
A poor man's... James Cromwell

J.T. Walsh

Where You've Seen Him: nowhere lately; he died in 1998. Before that he was in Pleasantville, Good Morning Vietnam, Narrow Margin, A Few Good Men, Breakdown, and more.
You might have missed him in: anything since 1998
To Me, He'll Always Be: Carl's creepo asylum mate in Sling Blade.
A poor man's... evil Beau Bridges

Danny Trejo

Where You've Seen Him Heat, Con Air, Desperado
You might have missed him in: From Dusk Till Dawn 3: The Hangman's Daughter
To Me, He'll Always Be: fuckin' scary
A poor man's... Manuel Noriega

David Morse

Where You've Seen Him: Proof of Life, 12 Monkeys, The Rock, The Green Mile
You might have missed him in: The Hugh Grant thriller, Extreme Measures
To Me, He'll Always Be: Jodie Foster's dad in Contact ("Small moves, Sparks. Small moves.")
A poor man's... Russell Crowe

Richard Jenkins

Where You've Seen Him: Me, Myself & Irene; Intolerable Cruelty; There's Something About Mary
You might have missed him in: Blue Steel, but I didn't, because that's my favorite Ron Silver movie ever
To Me, He'll Always Be: Nathaniel Fisher, Sr. in Six Feet Under, getting flattened by a city bus in the very first episode. Luckily for him, the show featured ghosts.
A poor man's... Tommy Lee Jones

Tom Wilkinson

Where You've Seen Him: Batman Begins, Michael Clayton, Rush Hour, Shakespeare In Love, In The Bedroom
You might have missed him in: The Ghost And The Darkness, which also describes the theaters where that movie played.
To Me, He'll Always Be: Dr. Mierzwiak, founder of Lacuna Corp. in Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind
A poor man's... Jon Voight

John C. Reilly

Where You've Seen Him: Talladega Nights, Magnolia, For The Love Of The Game, Chicago
You might have missed him in: The short-lived TV series Martial Law, co-starring Arsenio Hall, and created by Lost co-exec producer, Carlton Cuse.
To Me, He'll Always Be: Reed Rothchild, a.k.a. Chest Rockwell, in Boogie Nights
A poor man's... Will Farrell

Keith David

Where You've Seen Him: There's Something About Mary, ATL, Barbershop, Men At Work, Dead Presidents
You might have missed him in: Disco Godfather
To Me, He'll Always Be: Charlie Sheen's squad mate in Platoon
A poor man's... Louis Gossett, Jr.

Lane Smith

Where You've Seen Him: As the prosecutor in My Cousin Vinny
You might have missed him in: The Mighty Ducks, Lois & Clark, Son In Law, The Legend of Bagger Vance and a bunch of other shit nobody watched
To Me, He'll Always Be: Roy Hamlin in Hart To Hart. Ok, not really. I saw that on IMdb.
A poor man's... Gene Hackman with better hair

Peter Stormare

Where You've Seen Him: Fargo, Prison Break, Constantine (as Beelzebub), Minority Report
You might have missed him in: Larmar Och Gor Sig Till (Sweden's Maid in Manhattan)
To Me, He'll Always Be: "So I guess that's your partner there in the wood chipper, eh?"
A poor man's... Eurotrash Bruce Willish

Philip Baker Hall

Where You've Seen Him: Every movie or TV show you've ever watched in your entire life
You might have missed him in: Every movie or TV show you haven't watched in your entire life
To Me, He'll Always Be: Videotape advocate Floyd Gondolli in Boogie Nights
A poor man's... Michael Caine, American version

Zeljko Ivanek

Where You've Seen Him: Oz, 24, CSI, Law & Order, Cold Case, and every other law-enforcement show ever made, with the exception of T.J. Hooker and Reno 911.
You might have missed him in: Lost, as Juliet's husband, in only two scenes before he catches a bus without waiting for it to stop.
To Me, He'll Always Be: something unpronounceable
A poor man's... Pezqvlbluw Klpaxnblzela

Will Patton

Where You've Seen Him: Armageddon, The Client, The Rapture, Copycat
You might have missed him in: Road House 2: Last Call
To Me, He'll Always Be: Scott Pritchard, psychotic fop/chief of staff to Gene Hackman's Secretary of Defense in No Way Out
A poor man's... John Malkovich

William Sanderson

Where You've Seen Him: Deadwood, Lonesome Dove, Fletch, Blade Runner
You might have missed him in: Man's Best Friend with Ally Sheedy
To Me, He'll Always Be: Larry (of Larry, Darryl and Darryl) in "Newhart."
A poor man's... Marlon Brando

Here are some fine additions from my boy, Aries:

Daniel Stern

Where You've Seen Him: City Slickers, Home Alone, Diner
You might have missed him in: "The Wonder Years," as the voice of the grown-up Kevin Arnold.
To Me, He'll Always Be: The Rom Com Buddy in the otherwise forgetful Key Exchange
A poor man's... Bachelor Party-era Tom Hanks.

Al Leong

Where You've Seen Him: Die Hard, She's Having a Baby, Lethal Weapon, and any other movie that requires an Asian kung fu master with long hair and a funky 'stache
You might have missed him in: Big Trouble in Little China, as a murderous Wing Kong in the alley
To Me, He'll Always Be: Genghis Khan, in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
A poor man's... Genghis Khan.

Robert Davi

Where You've Seen Him: Die Hard, Stargate Atlantis, a ton of shitty films
You might have missed him in: The Hot Chick, which is probably good for both of you.
To Me, He'll Always Be: Frank Sanchez, baddie extraordinare in the Bond flick Licence to Kill
A poor man's... Joaquim de Almeida.

Sven-Ole Thorsen

Where You've Seen Him: Conan the Barbarian, The Running Man, and crossing swords with Maximus in Gladiator.
You might have missed him in: An episode of "Baywatch Nights," when he played a frozen Viking come back to life. Hey, gotta pay the bills.
To Me, He'll Always Be: The hammer-wielding evil numbskull in Conan the Barbarian.
A poor man's... Ahhnold.


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