Monday, March 30, 2009

More Fake Namery Of The Day

If you liked Mike Litoris, you'll love this "mother lode," as Toledo calls it. He's right.

(The vid will jump to 0:45 to start, which is intentional)

I gotta rerun one of my all-time favorite SNL bits while I'm at it.

8 Awesome Cases Of Internet Vigilantism

From and Jason D.

"Yet another unintended side effect of the web has been the birth of the Internet lynch mob. Now, everything from child abuse to bad customer service can get the online masses whipped into a frenzy of Old Testament-style vengeance. Whether this is good, bad, or downright terrifying, we'll let you be the judge."

Read it HERE.

Crappy Name That Might Be Real Of The Day

Wow, Mike Litoris might be real after all. And, despite what some men claim, surprisingly easy to find. Visual Alex did a little sleuthing and put her finger on it -- uh, him:

Classic 70s TV Show Promo Of The Day

Not sure how many will remember this obscure series, as it only ran one season (1974-75).

I vaguely remember the show, but don't recall watching it much (it probably came on after my bedtime, which was like 5:30). I do have a very specific memory of my parents laughing when Christy said, "You're under arrest, sugah!" -- which she did in every episode, apparently.

Christy was played by Teresa Graves, who died tragically in an apartment fire in 2002. She was 53.

14 Movie Characters Who Deserve A Beating

Eight from, six from me.

Kevin Bacon, Footloose

Okay, Ren, kudos for cranking Quiet Riot in that lady-killer VW, but bringing dancing to a small town is just corny… And so is dissin´ John Lithgow

Vanilla Ice, Cool As Ice

This laughable Hammer-lite was one thing, but for two hours as a leading man? We´d prefer Urkel: The Movie.

Hayden Christensen, Star Wars: Episode II—Attack of the Clones

Wasn't there anybody who could've beefed pouty-faced Christensen up by shouting, "Dude, you're playing Darth Fucking Vader for Christ's sake, enough with the bratty douche baggery!"

Patrick Swayze, Dirty Dancing

"Nobody puts baby in a corner?" Get serious. Jerry Orbach could still kick Swayze's ass, and he's been dead for years. (Except now Swayze is dying, so I guess this isn't as funny as it might have been a year ago.)

Jim Carrey, Batman Forever

Frank Gorshin, TV's Riddler, reportedly died of natural causes; we say check his VCR for this movie and his medicine cabinet for an empty vial of sleeping pills.

John Travolta, Grease

Let us get this straight: You´re embarrassed to be seen with an Aussie hottie but not Putzie?

Billy Crystal, Father's Day

Another groan-inducing, over-the-top, ham-on-rye performance from the King of Schmaltz that led to refund demands across the country.

Robin Williams, Father's Day

See previous.

Robin Williams, Patch Adams

Anybody who dresses up as a clown needs his ass kicked.

Melman (David Schwimmer), Madagascar

When they run out of food on that island, he needs to be the first one eaten.

Leonardo DiCaprio, Titanic

He works the "poor street urchin" angle to bone another dude's woman. I'd want to shoot him, too. Psst, Leo: your drawrings suck, dude.

Stephen Root, Office Space

What is it with you and that goddamned stapler?

Steve Buscemi, Fargo

Gaear Grimsrud beat me to it, and did a better job.

Ben Stiller in anything

Grow a pair, you whiny little bitch.

Vid Of The Day: Will Ferrell Answers Fan Questions (NSFW)

From Funny Or Die.

Forceful Ad Of The Day: Sham-F**king-Wow

"... more sucking power than a hooker using a vacuum." And he oughta know.

From Manda... a name that reminds me of Mandalay Bay in Vegas. And speaking of hookers, Mandalay is great place to pick up one, if you are so inclined. The bar is crawling with them. Seriously. You'll get hit on by two or three hos (ho's?) before you ever get a drink. Why there? Because they're all looking for a... ready?... man-to-lay.

Thank you. And be sure to check out our new potato bar with all the fixin's.


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