Thursday, July 2, 2009

80s Shit Song Of The Day

Yes, 80s. 1982. This is how crappy bands like Wank Chung and Men Without Hats ever got airplay. People were so sick of this kind of pop shite that they'd listen to anything else.

Her eyes frighten me more than the dancers.

I bet some of you still like this tune, don't you?
She's in love with you, boy!

And here's a Melissa Manchester bonus for ya. The clowns actually improve it. That's not something you can say very often.

Vid Of The Day: 70% Of Praise Is Sarcastic

I think I might've posted this before. Whatever. It's almost a holiday weekend. Fuck it.

From The Onion.

The 25 Best Opening Lyrics Of All Time (Of The Day)

According to, at least. I'm not sure how you really define best in this case, but whatever.. it's a list.

25. "You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar..." (Human League, "Don't You Want Me?")

24. "I've been a bad, bad girl..." (Fiona Apple, "Criminal")

23. "You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips..." (The Righteous Brothers, "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling")

22. "Go shorty. It's your birthday..." (50 Cent, "In Da Club")

21. "Hello darkness, my old friend..." (Simon and Garfunkel, "The Sounds of Silence")

20. "I am an antichrist...." (The Sex Pistols, "Anarchy In The U.K.")

19. "Well I guess it would be nice if I could touch your body..." (George Michael, "Faith")

18. "We don't smoke marijuana in Muskogee.." (Merle Haggard, "Okie From Muskokee")

17. "I was dreaming when I wrote this..." (Prince, "1999")

16. "Pigs, they tend to wiggle when they walk" (Pavement, "Stereo")

15. "She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene..." (Michael Jackson, "Billie Jean")

14. "There must be some kind of way out of here, said the joker to the thief..." (Bob Dylan, "All Along The Watchtower")

13. "What's with these homies dissin' my girl?" (Weezer, "Buddy Holly")

12. "A candy-colored clown they call the sandman tiptoes to my room every night..." (Roy Orbison, "In Dreams")

11. "Oh I just don't know where to begin..." (Elvis Costello, "Accidents Will Happen")

10. "Tommy used to work on the docks..." (Bon Jovi, "Livin' On A Prayer")

9. "Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine..." (Patti Smith, "Gloria")

8. "Well it's one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, now go, cat, go" (Carl Perkins, "Blue Suede Shoes")

7. "In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey..." (Beck, "Loser")

6. "Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?" (The Carpenters, "Close To You")

5. "Don't call it a comeback..." (LL Cool J, "Mama Said Knock You Out")

4. "Well she was just seventeen, you know what I mean" (The Beatles, "I Saw Her Standing There")

3. "Hey, ho, let's go!" (The Ramones, "Blitzkrieg Bop")

2. "I was born in a crossfire hurricane..." (The Rolling Stones, "Jumpin' Jack Flash")

1. "She's a very kinky girl..." (Rick James, "Superfreak")

Yeah, I'm not really feeling it with this list. There are about 8 good picks here, and the rest are throwaways. Human League? Bon Jovi? Meh. What about...

"She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean..."

"Hello, is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me."

"If you knew Peggy Sue, then you'd know why I feel blue..."

"Got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack, I went out for a ride and I never came back..."

"I went home with the waitress the way I always do, how was I to know she was with the Russians, too?"

"Southern man, better keep your head, don't forget what your good book said..."

"We'll be fighting in the street, with our children at our feet..."

"Da da da.. uh huh uh huh uh huh... da da da... uh huh uh huh uh huh..."

Which others belong on the list?

Vid Of The Day: Blessed Backside

Blessings often come from the most unexpected places.

From that crazy motherfucker, Steve Hatchett.


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