Monday, February 1, 2010

"Overheard In Minneapolis" Of The Day

I guess there are a bunch of these. Frank sent this link and I picked out a few favorites. Minneapolis sounds kinda nutty.

Toddler: Daddy, Daddy! It’s Grandpa!!
Daddy: What? Where?
Toddler: Right there!! (points at TV.)
Daddy: No, buddy, that’s Brett Favre.
(Crystal, Buffalo Wild Wings)

High school work-study student to work-study coordinator: I’m tellin’ you, my pants is up! (Minneapolis, child care center)

Old man: Like Prince say, “When dogs cry…”
Young man: That ain’t right.
Old man: That’s what I’m sayin! When a dog cry, somethin ain’t right!
Young man: No. The Prince song. It’s “When Doves Cry.”
Old man: Hell, man, that was a long time ago. I don’t ‘member ‘xactly. Still, when a dog cry, you know somethin’ wrong. When a dog cry, you know somethin’ ain’t right.
(St. Paul, Bus Route 21, Eastbound on Marshall)

Child #1: Are you gonna sleep on the plane?
Child #2: Yeah.
Child #1, very serious: I’ll wake you if we’re gonna die, OK? I’ll wake you if we’re gonna die.
(MSP Airport, during takeoff on a plane bound for Florida)

Teenage Boy: Don’t you ever take your underwear straight out of the dryer and put them on and be, like, WOOOOHHH!!! (Roseville, RAHS)

One of a group of friends, referring to a pair of leather overalls: You wear those to church, you’re going to burn in hell! (Minneapolis, clothing store)

Girl: Well, I never really understood Pride and Prejudice but I liked Bridget Jones’ Diary and they both have a Mr. Darcy and they both have Colin Firth in them.
Guy: Don’t worry, if you’ve read or seen Bridget Jones’ Diary then you’ve essentially read Pride and Prejudice.
(Minneapolis, Butter)

Drunk 20-something guy: Well, now you know all about my sexcapades. They’re like the Ice Capades, but with penises. (Plymouth, house party)

Little girl: I want a candy bar.
Her mom: No.
Little girl: Fine, if I don’t get one I’ll shit in your car!
(Apple Valley, Target)

Young woman to slumped, unresponsive man: And so I was talking with them and everyone’s getting their turn at talking, but I was talking to them and we’re just talking, you know, and everything’s fine. You know? And I was talking because I’m talking, and I like to talk, I like to talk with them, and they’re talking. And I’m talking, and I don’t think I’m talking too much, because they’re talking. They’re talking, we’re all talking, I’m giving everyone their turn to talk because I don’t like to dominate the conversation. (Edina, Edina Grill)

Man to two preteens: I’ve been locked up the past 8 years. How am I supposed to know what to get you for Christmas?! (Richfield Super Target)

Female coworker: Hey, do we have wireless internet?
Male coworker: We sure do.
Female coworker: Where is it?
Male coworker, putting on spooky voice and gesturing with arms in air: All arouuuund us.
(Anoka, office)

Woman looking at galoshes, to daughter: Your father has rubbers, but I can never get him to wear them. (Minneapolis, Xmas shopping)

(Lots more here)

Classic TV Show Open Of The Day: James

Does anyone besides me and Spinderfella remember this one? Lance Kerwin was a TV staple around this time, as was Kim Richards. I always remember Lance from the TV movie, The Loneliest Runner, where he had a bed-wetting problem and his mother would hang his wet sheets out the front window to humiliate him. He should've pissed in her bed instead.

Amusing Wi-Fi Network Names Of The Day

Clever ways to send your neighbors a message, from Paul and Jennifer.

(Images from The Huffington Post, Failblog and Holy Taco)

Classic Vid Of The Day: Duck Dog

Okay, a little brain cleaner after the nasty thongs and foul language. Isn't this sweet? Or is it? That dog's no dummy. He's thinking, "Hmm, do I want a snack now or a nice meal about six months from now? I think I'll wait."

Vid Of The Day: Tony Soprano, Wild Thing (NSFW)

From eGuiders. Lots of naughty words.

When Thong Is Wrong

From Mandy & Rebecca, who love thongs on men.

When it's on the outside...

When it's on the field

When it's trying to escape

When it's on sideways

When you both wear it

When it doesn't cover your goofy tattoo

When it's on this guy

When it's showing what no one wants to see

When it reaches your armpits

When it's on a dog

When there's not enough liquor in the world to make you forget seeing it

When it makes you hurl

No complaints here

When it escaped from a nursing home

When it's worn by The Crypt Keeper


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