Thursday, February 24, 2011

News Of The Day: Woman Bites Roommate's Breast For Eating Her Girl Scout Cookies

You know it's cookie time when bitches start grabbin' scissors and bitin' titties.

From and Wendy, who admits that she too would probably bite a boob over Thin Mints. As would I.

Florida woman bites her roommate's breast for eating her Girl Scout cookies

NAPLES, Florida -- A Naples woman was arrested this week for attacking her roommate after she allegedly ate her Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies.

According to police, 31-year-old Hersha Howard was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon after she chased the victim with a pair of scissors.

The victim says that Howard burst into her room at 1 a.m. and began to argue and repeatedly jumped on top of the victim while striking her in the face.

During the late night melee, Howard reportedly bit the victim in the breast and continued to beat the victim until the two were separated.

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Well Played, MILF

I Googled "MILF jogging" and this is one of the pics I got back. I guess she hurt herself running away from some creepy ass perv.

best of craigslist > new orleans >

To the redheaded MILF jogging in the park Sunday morning, apologies - m4w

Date: 2010-02-22, 11:08PM CST

I hope you realize that my perving was directed at you and only you, and absolutely no part of it was meant for your young daughter (niece? juvenile jogging companion?).

As implied, I enjoy the perks of jogging at Audubon, and one of those is a bit of ogling on the sly. It helps me forget that it's been too long since I was jogging regularly, and I usually wear sunglasses to keep my baser proclivities to myself.

You are stacked, I like redheads, my sunglasses were see where this is going.

Anyway, I must congratulate you on getting your young companion to to run completely concealed behind you, only to emerge at what was, for me, the worst possible time.

Do you practice that? It must be the best ogle-stopper in the business.

I swear, when she popped out from behind you, my libido panicked and imploded in about a nanosecond, and it took effort not to loose a cry of "Dirty pool!"

Well played, MILF.

On a side note, any mention of Audubon Park will forever remind me of Randy Newman's song, "New Orleans Wins The War," which describes his childhood spent in that city before moving back to Los Angeles.

Momma used to take me to Audubon Park
Show me the ways of the world
Here comes a white boy; there goes a black one
That one's an octoroon
This little cookie here's a macaroon
That big round thing's a red balloon
And the paper down here's called the Picayune
And here's a New Orleans tune:
Baby baby baby baby baby baby baby..."

Music Video Of The Day: Mustache

From comedian CZ Gordon, creator and narrator (as "Randall") of the honey badger and other wildlife spoof vids that are en fuego on teh intrawebz right now.

2010's Biggest Wastes Of Acting Talent

Fourteen movies last year that wasted good actors in thankless roles. From

ELLEN PAGE - Inception

Take a look at the Inception page on IMDb and find memorable quotes for Ellen Page's character, Ariadne. They're all questions. "Why is it so important to dream?" "Why wouldn't I wake up?" "Why can't you go home?" "Whose subconscious are we going through exactly?" And on and on. Page plays the film's dream architect, the person responsible for designing the worlds the rest of the characters travel through in their sleep. But really, she is the audience surrogate who stands around looking confused and asking questions. But for all her architectural genius, Ariadne's a bit of a dim bulb, and that makes her a bad case of miscasting for Page.

JEMAINE CLEMENT - Dinner for Schmucks

Apparently Jemaine Clement just decided at some point during the production of Dinner For Schmucks that he was going to be in a different movie than the rest of the characters. Or it could be a byproduct of the rangy direction by Jay Roach, which allowed fellow cast members Zach Galifianakis and Lucy Punch to let their freak flags fly as the "schmucks" recruited by Paul Rudd's corporate climber for his boss' dinner of shame. Still, in a movie that was set up to be a circus, Clement's wild, animal-loving conceptual artist Kieran Vollard feels like an elephant in the room, and he takes a backseat in Schmucks to the less interesting Rudd, Steve Carell and Galifianakis.

JET LI - The Expendables

After decades of success, an accomplished action star like Jet Li shouldn't have to play second fiddle to anyone, let alone third banana to Sylvester Stallone in a ludicrous vanity project like The Expendables. Whatever time writer/director Stallone had planned to devote to Li's character got lost along the way, since his embarrassingly named "Yin Yang" gets even less face time and dialogue than stunt casting cameo-ers Dolph Lundgren and Mickey Rourke. While Lundgren and Rourke look like they're having a grand old time, Li looks like he's engaged in a constant struggle to choke back a yawn. But can you blame him? If only Stallone had developed Yin Yang half as carefully as he developed his brachioradialis muscles, the part might have been worth Li's talents.

LIZZY CAPLAN - 127 Hours

Lizzy Caplan should have some genuine gripes about what went down in 2010. After the cancellation of her IFC series "Party Down," Caplan saw her unique wit and verve lavished on the thankless role of the rock journalist who captures John Cusack's heart in
Hot Tub Time Machine and then appeared in the wordless role of Aron Ralston's sister in 127 Hours. One can't blame Caplan for wanting to work with Danny Boyle, but she appears for mere seconds in one of Aron's hallucinations when he's trapped between boulders. For those that love her, Caplan's brief appearance almost works because you instantly empathize with Aron for wanting to see more of her. Then again, that's also the problem.


Blame Bill Murray for this one. Murray was originally cast in James L. Brooks' comedy as the father and boss of Paul Rudd's businessman, whose corporate malfeasance has landed his son in hot water. However, shortly after rehearsals started, Murray who famously receives nearly all his communiqué via a mailbox dropped out during rehearsals for reasons that were. in Brooks' words, "clinically personal." Enter Jack Nicholson, Brooks' friend of over 30 years, to help him out in a pinch. Unfortunately, Nicholson steps into a role that clearly was written for Murray as sly, oblivious and slightly uncomfortable. And Jack can't help but be Jack, which makes the supporting role seem beneath him, especially since he never forges a real chemistry with Rudd as his son.

MAX VON SYDOW - The Wolfman

Before you ask where Max Von Sydow was in the failed redo of
The Wolfman, let me direct you to the film's extended cut on DVD where the legendary actor plays a fellow passenger on a train with Benicio Del Toro's soon-to-be lycanthrope Lawrence Talbot. On the page, the scene is a throwaway and was ultimately cut because director Joe Johnston believed the audience wanted to get to the Wolfman's transformation quicker. However, Von Sydow's presentation of a cane (hiding a sword) to Talbot offered a nice nod to the original film while suggesting a certain sense of grandeur that comes along with a thespian of Von Sydow's stature. Surely, the filmmakers knew this, otherwise they wouldn't have dragged the 80-year-old actor out for nothing. But in trying to make a film for everyone, they pleased no one, and insulted one of the world's finest actors in the process.

(See Cillian Murphy, Liam Neeson, Alia Shawkat, Greg Kinnear and the rest of the list at


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