Monday, September 19, 2011

News Vid Of The Day: Guy Channels Chris Farley, Describes Accident

If you don't get the reference, see this.

From T-Nova and MyFOXPhoenix.

Random, Pointless and Hilarious Street Flyers Of The Day

From Joy and

See more at HappyPlace

News Story Of The Day: The Hooker, The Opossum And The Phony Wang

You can't make this stuff up, folks. From The Smoking Gun.

Accused Hooker Busted By Phony Member Of Force

SEPTEMBER 15--Undercover vice squad officers routinely come into contact with skeptical prostitutes wary that their prospective john may actually be a police officer. So, before discussing business, a hooker will often ask the purported sex-seeker to first expose himself, since that is a no-no for a cop.

Anticipating this demand, a Florida detective “attempting to solicit prostitutes” last night hit the Sarasota streets with a “flaccid rubber replica of a penis” stuffed into his pants, according to a marvelous Manatee County Sheriff’s Office report.

At about 10 PM, the cop spotted a “white female wearing denim pants and a green spaghetti strap shirt” walking the street. The woman subsequently got into the detective’s car and told him to head north. When the detective asked how much it would cost for oral sex, the woman was noncommittal.

After driving out of the parking lot of a 7-Eleven, the woman, Smith reported, “asked me to expose my penis.” Smith--packing one real and one phony phallus--asked if he could first put on a condom.

“I then exposed a flaccid rubber replica of a penis and placed a condom on it,” wrote Smith. “She immediately leaned over and put it into her mouth.”

At this point, amazingly, Smith spotted an opossum crossing the road and slammed on the brakes, “causing the female to slide out of her seat and mildly into the dashboard.”

The report does not make clear whether she still had Smith’s sheathed fake penis in her mouth at the time.

The undercover then “drove to Easter Seals,” where he again asked for an oral sex quote. “Twenty for head,” the woman replied.

Smith gave a take down signal to fellow members of the Special Investigations Division Tactical Unit, who arrived and arrested Christina Vavra, 31, for prostitution.

Vid Of The Day: Worst Hunting Dog

"sniff sniff sniff ... he's very near.... sniff... getting warmer.. sniff sniff... he's very close now, I'm certain of it... sniff sniff...looks up... Ah. There he is. Ha! I have you now, sir. There is no esca-- wha?... what's he-- oh SHIT... RUN!!!"



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