Monday, December 31, 2012

Miss Me Yet?

Don't fret, LOTD will return in a few days. I'm having too much fun doing nothing.

Namaste, bitchez!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Idea Of The Day

My latest book is the perfect gift for anyone left on your list. Available now at bookstores everywhere.


"Back by popular demand, the mind-blowing follow-up to the bestselling 1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You.  An all-new collection of entertaining and horrifying truths about us,  our world, and why we’re totally screwed. 

With more disturbing facts and  fun new topics, including weird celebrities, boobs, the internet,  clowns, serial killers, sexual fetishes, bacon, Elvis, things that will  eat you, and more. 

From stupid dead people to halitosis caused by  constipation to a singer whose music can get you killed in some Jamaican  neighborhoods, it’s all here—everything you need to know about the  scary s#*t that surrounds all of us.

FACT: Men are four times as likely as women to be struck by lightning.

FACT: McDonald’s McRib sandwich contains some of the same ingredients used to manufacture gym mats and running shoes.

FACT: Celine Dion first met future husband René Angélil when she was 12 years old. He was 38.

FACT: A study suggests that food like bacon affect the brain in a  manner similar to cocaine and heroin, overloading pleasure centers and  requiring increasing amounts."

Rated FIVE STARS (*****)

Makes a great Christmas gift! Buy it at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Penguin Books.

Thanks for your support.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

WTF?! Christmas Decorations Of The Day

You suck at teh Christmas.



"Up on the housetop, what on earth?
Sounds like Mary's giving birth..."

Syprograph Christmas

Someone paid money for this?


Frosty The Snowhead

Pease on erth

Santa bagged an 8-point buck and two Mickeys at this year's hunt

I didn't realize Bethlehem was near the North Pole

Grinch Goatse
(If you don't know what goatse is, don't look it up. You'll be sorry.)

The final countdown

So many kids were naughty this year, Santa came heavy


Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Children's Guillotine

best of craigslist > lawrence >

Children's guillotine

Date: 2009-10-13, 6:55PM CDT

Looking to get rid of this children's size guillotine, only used once.

Has been cleaned and recently oiled, sure to make any child happy!

Christmas is coming up soon so don't miss this one!!

Trampoline Dog Of The Day

Try to watch this without smiling. Link from Josh Lewis.

Best AutoCorrects Of 2012

Real or not, these crack me up. From Suzanne and Buzzfeed.

More here.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

The 50 Best Breasts In Movie History (NSFW)

The top 50 boobs (25 women, duh) in movie history, according to GQ. If you're expecting the usual roundup of ladies--Phoebe, Jamie Lee, Angelina--yes, they're here, but many of the other choices will surprise you. (NSFW for nudity, duh again).


When Ann-Margret formed that wonderful canyon ("Go ahead, jump in," it beckons, and the viewer is tempted), a combination gasp-and-sigh rose in unison from every male in that theater, the sort of gasp you hear when O. J. Simpson or Robert Durst is acquitted, the sort of sigh you let out when a friend—but not you—wins $10 million in the lottery.


The unattainable coed in the window removing her big white brassiere: the mother lode, so to speak—John Landis's gift to young boys everywhere.

AIRPLANE! (1980)

Chaotic midair turbulence yields a delightfully frantically jiggly glimpse just brief enough for a PG rating. (Thanks, Jack Valenti!).


Laura Harring offers a pair so pillowy they must be down. Gives credence to the theory that David Lynch's film is all a dream.

GIA (1998)

These are your boobs. These are your boobs on drugs. And when they belong to Angelina Jolie, they're hot regardless.

BODY HEAT (1981)

Once upon a time, Kathleen Turner would point her small but assertive breasts at you, grab you by your stuff, and lead you back to bed. Then she made Serial Mom. Sorry to harsh your boner.


For once, Matt Dillon's trademark dumbfounded expression seems justified, in the face of Denise Richards's...well, er, wild things.

ALIEN (1979)

Alien worked on the principle that what can't be seen is always more vivid than what can. (Glimpses of the creature were fleeting at best.) So it was that Ripley's breasts remained sheathed. Whereas the alien had its exoskeletal armor, Ripley had that skimpy white tank top, thin as cheesecloth, which only made her seem more human, more vulnerable.


French actress Ludivine Sagnier spends a good third of the movie showing off the best all-natural mamelles since the October 1978 double issue of Oui.

Full list and copy here.

News: Woman Gets New Stem-Cell Wrinkle Treatment, Grows Extra Bones In Eyes

Ah yes, the obsession with youth goes horribly awry once again.

"Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should." - Jurassic Park

From Scientific American via BoingBoing.

"The patient explained that she could not open her right eye without considerable pain and that every time she forced it open, she heard a strange click—a sharp sound, like a tiny castanet snapping shut. After examining her in person, Dr. Allan Wu could see that something was wrong: Her eyelid drooped stubbornly, and the area around her eye was somewhat swollen.

Six and a half hours of surgery later, he and his colleagues had dug out small chunks of bone from the woman's eyelid and tissue surrounding her eye, which was scratched but largely intact. The clicks she heard were the bone fragments grinding against one another.

About three months earlier the woman had opted for a relatively new kind of cosmetic procedure at a different

clinic in Beverly Hills—a face-lift that made use of her own adult stem cells. During the face-lift her clinicians had also injected some dermal filler, which plastic surgeons have safely used for more than 20 years to reduce the appearance of wrinkles. The principal component of such fillers is calcium hydroxylapatite, a mineral with which cell biologists encourage mesenchymal stem cells to turn into bone—a fact that escaped the woman's clinicians."

Full article here.

Animals With Fraudulent College Degrees (Of The Day)

From Wikipedia.

"Animals have been submitted as applicants to suspected diploma mills and, on occasion, admitted and granted a degree, as reported in reliable sources. In one case, a cat's degree helped lead to a successful fraud prosecution against the institution which issued it."


In 2009, George, a cat owned by Chris Jackson, the presenter of the BBC show "Inside Out North East & Cumbria," was registered with three professional organizations, the British Board of Neuro Linguistic Programming, the United Fellowship of Hypnotherapists, and the Professional Hypnotherapy Practitioner Association, securing George's accreditation as a hypnotherapist.


It was alleged during a 2007 Fostoria, Ohio drug trial that police dog (John I.) Rocko received the same criminal justice Bachelor's degree from Concordia College and University as local Police Chief John McGuire. At the time, McGuire was being sued and investigated for allegedly lying on his resume and application for the job of chief.


Ben Goldacre, a UK-based physician and science journalist, wrote in 2004 of obtaining a diploma in nutrition from the American Association of Nutritional Consultants for his cat, Henrietta, while investigating allegations about the qualifications claimed by Gillian McKeith, former host in the UK of Channel 4's You Are What You Eat and Granada Television's Dr Gillian McKeith's Feel Fab Forever.


On December 10, 1967, The Times reported that Oliver Greenhalgh had been accepted as a Fellow of the English Association of Estate Agents and Valuers, after a payment of eleven guineas (his two references were not verified). Oliver was a cat belonging to Michael Greenhalgh, an investigative journalist.


In 1984 Time Magazine reported that Sassafras, a female poodle belonging to a New York City physician, had received a diploma from the American Association of Nutrition and Dietary Consultants. Her owner had bought the diploma for $50 to demonstrate that "something that looks like a diploma doesn't mean that somebody has responsible training."


In 2010, Mark Howard, a member of the legal team for the defendants in BSkyb Ltd & Anor v HP Enterprise Services UK Ltd & Anor [2010] obtained a degree for his dog Lulu from Concordia College and University. Lulu "graduated" with higher marks than the plaintiff's key witness, who lied that he had attended classes for his Concordia MBA. In the legal community, the story of the witness's MBA is "infamous," and a supervisory management cautionary tale.


Oreo C. Collins (born circa 2007) is a tuxedo cat who gained notoriety when she received a diploma from Jefferson High School Online in 2009, although her age was misrepresented in order to qualify. The sting was an investigative operation by the Better Business Bureau of Central Georgia headed by Kelvin Collins, Oreo's owner.


"Dr." Zoe D. Katze is a housecat owned by Steve K. D. Eichel, Ph.D., ABPP. Dr. Eichel was able to obtain several well-known hypnotherapy certifications for his cat, circa 2001. The ease with which "Dr." Katze obtained these credentials became the subject of an article by the American Bar Association and a news report by CBS News.


The May 30, 2007 episode of the Australian Broadcasting Corporation comedy show The Chaser's War on Everything documented host Chas John Licciardello applying online and obtaining a medical degree for his dog Sonny from diploma mill Ashwood University. Sonny's "work experience" included "significant proctology experience sniffing other dogs' bums."


In 2004 Albany, NY television reporter Peter Brancato received an associate's degree from Almeda University for his dog, Wally. On the application, Brancato listed "Plays with the kids every day ... teaches them to interact better with each other ... Teaches them responsibilities like feeding the dog." In 2008, Wally was featured in a Lake Geneva, Wisconsin mayoral campaign political cartoon, with a dialogue bubble reading "I graduated with Bill Chesen," referring to Chesen's Almeda University bachelor's degree.

More here.


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