Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Retro Junk Of The Day: Super Bad Party Ring (video)

Unless you watched WTBS Superstation in the 70s and 80s, you have probably never seen this commercial. And that's a shame. I think it aired in every break of World Championship Wrestling for years. It even spawned a joke: What do you get when you sit on the toilet too long? A super bad potty ring!

News Of The Day: Man Sues BMW For Two-Year Erection

 So what's the problem? From T-Nova and Gawker.

Man Claims BMW Motorcycle Ride Gave Him Two-Year Erection, Let Erection Rage for Two Years Before Suing

by Caity Weaver
May 2, 2012

A California man has filed suit against BMW North America after a four hour-ride on his BMW motorcycle turned into a two year party: he claims his bike's custom-installed ridged seat caused him to develop an erection that lasted for twenty months.

In his lawsuit, Henry Wolf, 52, states that the condition (Called priapism after a minor Greek fertility god named Priapus, whose huge, distracting boner dominates any depiction of him) left him unable to engage in sexual activity, causing him "substantial emotional and mental anguish" and leaving him "distraught and distressed."

The worst part is, as the owner of a BMW motorcycle, Wolf was probably having a lot of sex with cool, pretty, down-for-whatever chicks prior to this development.

Wolf's attorney, Vernon Bradley, added that Wolf was forced to "reconfigure his clothing" and had difficulty going to the bathroom because of the erection.

In court documents Wolf alleges that several physicians told him the priapism was a result of his four-hour rough ride on the ridged seat from Hell. However, news outlets are having a hard time finding any medical professionals willing to say the same.

The closest anyone has come is noting that, in rare instances, priapism can be caused by "trauma," and remarking that compression of the penis, up against, say, the custom seat of a BMW motorcycle, might result in temporary numbness.

Wolf is also coming down hard on the manufacturer of the seat, Corbin-Pacific Inc., seeking unstated damages for lost wages, personal injury, medical expenses, product liability, and negligent infliction of emotional distress.

Hopefully he can use the money to buy a Vespa.

33 Things You Might Not Know About Toy Story

I remember taking my little brother to see the first Toy Story movie in the theater and expecting it to be some dumb kids movie. I was wrong. Surprisingly, wonderfully wrong. (From Buzzfeed.)

The original Toy Story is the first fully computer-generated full-length feature film.

In their most productive week during production, Pixar completed 3.5 minutes of animation.

Pixar originally wanted Jim Carrey to voice Buzz Lightyear, but the film's low budget couldn't afford him. Billy Crystal was originally offered the chance to voice Buzz Lightyear, but declined. After seeing the finished film, he said the decision was the biggest mistake of his career.

The Pizza Planet delivery truck, which has appeared in every Pixar film except The Incredibles, also appeared in all three Toy Story films.

Hasbro denied Pixar the use of the name GI Joe when the company realized that a GI Joe doll was blown up in the script by Sid. Pixar used green army men instead.

The license plate on Andy's mother's car reads “A 111” on the front and “A 113” on the rear. A111 and A113 are two rooms used by the animation department at CalArts - alma mater of a large number of Pixarians.

Mattel originally didn't want Barbie in the film because they thought the film would be a failure. They also didn't want Barbie to have a defined personality, preferring to let children imagine Barbie's personality traits on their own.

Barbie's blue workout outfit from Toy Story 3 is based on the 1984 Great Shape Barbie Doll. The Ken doll in the movie is modeled after Animal Lovin Ken from 1988.

The number 95 appears frequently throughout all three films, a nod to the year the first Toy Story was released, 1995.

Pixar presented an early draft of the film to Disney on November 19, 1993. The result was disastrous. The film was deemed unwatchable. It presented Woody as a “sarcastic jerk” who was constantly insulting the other toys. Disney immediately shut down production pending a new script. The story team spent a week on a new script to make Woody a more likable character, instead of the “sarcastic jerk” he had been.

The green three-eyed aliens have a circled pizza (pepperoni and mushroom) on their fronts.

The plot of the Toy Story 3 is loosely based on the original treatment for Toy Story, which had Tinny getting lost at a rest stop and being found by a junk man, who throws him into back of his truck. Tinny meets a ventriloquist dummy and they both decide to stick together. But in the end they end up in a preschool where they'll never get lost or outgrown. Tinny can be seen on the cover of a magazine in one scene in Toy Story 3.

(List continues on Buzzfeed.)

Mother Of The Year Candidate Of The Day

Ya know, forced sterilization is looking better all the time. From Gawker and Rachael.

Drunk Driving Pregnant Woman Left Baby in the Car to Go Get Pierced

by Neetzan Zimmerman
May 30, 2012

Police in Houston arrested a drunk pregnant woman who was found sleeping off her buzz behind the wheel of an idling car around 2:40 AM this morning.

An HPD officer arrived at 5131 North Freeway to find 20-year-old Stephanie Irene Santana passed out in the driver's seat with her engine running and the front door open. 

Upon searching the car, the officer found several bottles of beer inside a diaper bag and some Xanax.

It was later discovered that Santana had earlier left her one-year-old girl alone in the vehicle to go get a piercing at a nearby tattoo parlor.

She was turned away by an employee who, after following her to her car, phoned the police. "I knew she was stumbling," said the employee. "I knew she was on something."

Santana, who faces charges of driving while intoxicated, endangering a child, and possession of a controlled substance, was taken to Ben Taub General Hospital. Her child was placed in the care of State Child Protective Services.

May Motivational Poster Roundup



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