Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Son Of The Year Candidate (Of The Day)

If I'm the mom I'm waiting until this meatfuck passes out after his next bender, then taking a squat over his face and pinching off a big hot fresh one. Quid pro quo, Clarice.

Florida Police Arrest Worst Son In World

AUGUST 8--A Florida man yesterday rubbed dog feces in his mother’s face during an argument in the home they share, police report.

Cops arrested William Jenkins, 21, on a felony domestic battery charge for pushing his mother, 53, to the floor during the dispute, according to a Palmetto Police Department report.

When questioned by cops, Jenkins denied pushing his mother, but admitted that he “did rub dog defecation on her face because she yelled at him,” investigators noted.

The confrontation between Jenkins, pictured in the adjacent mug shot, was apparently prompted by his mother’s refusal to provide him with a shot of vodka.

Jenkins retrieved the dog feces from the home’s back porch, where his mother’s dog had relieved itself. He “then reached down with his hand picked up the dog defecation and rubbed it in his mother’s face,” cops reported.

Jenkins is being held in the Manatee County jail, where bond has not been set.

35 Modern Words Recently Added To The Dictionary

Remember when dictionaries were particular about adding new words? I seem to recall it taking YEARS for the word ain't to get in. If you used that word back in the day, some teacher or other adult would invariably say, "Ain't is not a word. It's not in the dictionary." Then one day it was. But it took years. Now if a word appears in any three blog posts and an article on the Huffington Post, it's in. Whores! Poor Noah Webster must be circumvoluting in his sepulcher.

From Mental Floss:

"The Oxford Dictionary Online is a warehouse of over 600,000 words. Despite this large arsenal, we continue to coin, clip, and blend new words into existence, and the Oxford folks pump some of these new words into their dictionaries. Here are some more recent additions with their official definitions."

1. Bling (n): Expensive, ostentatious clothing and jewelry.

2. Bromance (n):
A close but non-sexual relationship between two men.

3. Chillax (v): Calm down and relax.

4. Crunk (adj):
Very excited or full of energy.

5. D’oh (ex):
Exclamation used to comment on a foolish or stupid action, especially one’s own.

6. Droolworthy (adj):
Extremely attractive or desirable.

7. Frankenfood (n):
Genetically modified food.

8. Grrrl (n):
A young woman regarded as independent and strong or aggressive, especially in her attitude to men or in her sexuality (A blend of “Grrrr” and “Girl.”)

9. Guyliner (n):
Eyeliner that is worn by men.
10. Hater (n): A person who greatly dislikes a specified person or thing.
11. Illiterati (n): People who are not well educated or well informed about a particular subject or sphere of activity.
12. Infomania (n): The compulsive desire to check or accumulate news and information, typically via mobile phone or computer.

13. Jeggings (n):
Tight-fitting stretch trousers for women, styled to resemble a pair of denim jeans.
14. La-la Land (n): A fanciful state or dream world. Also, Los Angeles.

15. Locavore (n):
A person whose diet consists only or principally of locally grown or produced food.

16. Mankini (n):
A brief one-piece bathing garment for men, with a T-back

17. Mini-Me (n): A person closely resembling a smaller or younger version of another.

18. Muffin Top (n):
A roll of fat visible above the top of a pair of women’s tight-fitting low-waisted trousers.

19. Muggle (n):
A person who is not conversant with a particular activity or skill.

20. Noob (n):
A person who is inexperienced in a particular sphere or activity, especially computing or the use of the Internet.

21. Obvs (adv):

22. OMG (ex):
Used to express surprise, excitement, or disbelief. (Dates back to 1917.)

23. Po-po (n):
The police.

24. Purple State (n):
A US state where the Democratic and Republican parties have similar levels of support among voters.
25. Screenager (n): A person in their teens or twenties who has an aptitude for computers and the Internet.
26. Sexting (n): The sending of sexually explicit photographs or messages via mobile phone.

27. Textspeak (n):
Language regarded as characteristic of text messages, consisting of abbreviations, acronyms, initials, emoticons. (wut hpns win u write lyk dis.)

28. Totes (adv):

29. Truthiness (n):
the quality of seeming or being felt to be true, even if not necessarily true.

30. Twitterati (n):
Keen or frequent users of the social networking site Twitter.

31. Unfriend (v):
Remove (someone) from a list of friends or contacts on a social networking site.

32. Upcycle (v):
Reuse (discarded objects or material) in such a way as to create a product of higher quality or value than the original.

33. Whatevs (ex, adv):

34. Whovian (n):
A fan of the British science-fiction television series Doctor Who.

35. Woot (ex):
(Especially in electronic communication) Used to express elation, enthusiasm, or triumph.

More at Mental Floss.

Nic Cage As Everyone (Of The Day)

From Zan and this blog.

More here.

Health Poster Of The Day: Celery

Probably not the best way to get people to eat it.



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