Friday, August 30, 2013

12 Weird Things You Didn't Know You Could Buy On Amazon (NSFW-ish)

From Madconomist.com. Click any pic to find out more.


1. The Celebrity Black Book: Over 55,000 Accurate Celebrity Addresses


2. Tickle His Pickle: Your Hands-On Guide to Penis Pleasing


3. Man to Man : Gay Attraction Body Mist 2 Oz


4. SILK Micro G-String Thong Rings Panty


5. JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank


6. Stink Bombs - Box of 36 Glass Vials


7. Dr. John's Famous Pee Pee


8. Uranium Ore


9. Liquid Ass Fart


10. Anal Trainer Kit

11. Lovers' Headgear & Eye Mask with Ball Gag

 
12. 16" Natural Curly Skin Top Head Closure

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Epic Ways To Open A Beer (Of The Day)

I kept waiting for someone with a hook. From First We Feast.











More here.

News: Nebraska Woman Busted For Piercing Victim's Face With Stiletto Heel In Post-Baby Shower Brawl

In her defense, the other woman did say she wanted to try on the shoes. Who has a baby shower at 3 a.m.?

From The Smoking Gun.
Nebraska Woman Busted For Piercing Victim's Face With Six-Inch Stiletto Heel In Post-Baby Shower Brawl

August 19, 2013

Meet Julia Bol.

Wielding a stiletto with a six-inch heel, the 28-year-old Nebraskan allegedly used the shoe to stab a woman in the face, puncturing the victim’s cheek, police allege.

According to the Lincoln Police Department, Bol and Rebeca Boss, 41, got into an argument around 3 AM yesterday after attending a baby shower.

The sidewalk dispute escalated when Bol grabbed one of Boss’s shoes (which she was holding in her hands) and “stabbed her in the face with it.”

Armed with the stiletto, Bol used the shoe to strike Boss in the face with such force that the heel pierced the victim’s cheek.

“The stiletto heel punctured the victim’s cheek and had to be pulled out of her face,” according to a police summary.

After clobbering Boss with the shoe, Bol also allegedly “knocked the victim to the ground and began choking her,” police allege.

(read more)

Helpful Chart Of The Day: Gang Signs

Ahhh, okay, now I get it.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Vid Of The Day: Micro Mayhem

This kicks ass. Duel meets The Road Warrior meets Mario Kart -- all in claymation.


News: People Far Away From You Not Actually Smaller

From The Onion.
Study: People Far Away From You Not Actually Smaller 

Aug. 22, 2013

PRINCETON, NJ—According to a groundbreaking new study published Thursday in The Journal Of Natural And Applied Sciences, people who are far away from you are actually not, as once thought, physically smaller than you.

The five-year study, conducted by researchers at Princeton University, has shattered traditionally accepted theories that people standing some distance away from you are very small, and people close-by are very big.

“The data was irrefutable in demonstrating that when someone standing directly in front of you begins walking away, their body does not, as previously assumed, gradually shrink before eventually disappearing entirely,” said Dr. David Pinard, lead author of the study.

“Rather, our findings indicate that they maintain their original size regardless of how tiny they may appear.”

(Read more)

Celebrity Star Wars Photoshops Of The Day

From a series of amusing contests on Worth1000.com.


Mr. Y


Darth Simpson


Foreman R2-D2 grill


Gen. Goofous


Queen Frodo


AHHHHHHHHH!!!!


Darth Shrek


Moby-Wan Kenobi


Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back


Rodney the Hutt


The Millennium Lee


Queen Spacey


Emperor Putintine


Rihannaayla


Queen Leia


I Am Darth Maul


Danny DeYoda

Monday, August 26, 2013

Vid Of The Day: New Wearable Computer Also Sucks Your D**k (NSFW)

Totally NSFW. From The Onion.



Red, White, And Booze: A Map Of America's Top Brands By State (Of The Day)

From Thrillist:

"Steve Lovelace, you have inspired us, sir. To drink!

Last month, the Dallas-based writer, photographer, and artist put together the wildly buzzy Corporate States of America map, with the logo of each of state's most notable company shoehorned in between its boundaries. We noticed that only two were alcohol outfits, which drove us to create another map plotting the biggest/most high-profile liquor or beer companies from each of the 50.

We know there are at least infinity amazing craft breweries in each of these states, but this map's about the big boys, at least when there are big boys to be noted."

Click for larger view, or see the full-res version here.

News: Store Clerk Injured While Trying To Stop Theft Of Hasselhoff Signs

Being a Hoff fan is a real drag, man. From ABC News. Link from the amazing Jenn Howard.

Give that man a signed photo of me. He's my brah.

Conn. Clerk Injured in David Hasselhoff Sign Theft

Shelton, CT
August 20, 2013 (AP)

Connecticut police say a convenience store clerk has been critically injured trying to stop the theft of two signs featuring images of actor David Hasselhoff.

Authorities say the 36-year-old clerk at a Cumberland Farms in Shelton saw a man put the signs into an SUV shortly after 1 a.m. Tuesday.

Police say the worker was struck and dragged by the SUV and landed on his head.

Police say the clerk is hospitalized in critical condition, and authorities are looking for the suspects. The employee's name hasn't been released.

Hasselhoff starred in the TV shows "Baywatch" and "Knight Rider." The signs featuring him advertise iced coffee.

Cumberland Farms officials say more than 500 of them have been stolen from stores in several states in recent months.

Lip Sync Of The Day: I Put A Spell On You

Another win by Jimmy "Under Pressure" Slonina.



Sourpusses Of The Day

The epiphany that is baby's first lemon. The professional shots are from April Maciborka.



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