Thursday, October 31, 2013

News: Red Sox Fan Dedicates Garbage Can He’s Lighting On Fire To Marathon Victims

From The Onion.
Red Sox Fan Dedicates Garbage Can He’s Lighting On Fire To Marathon Victims

Oct. 30, 2013

BOSTON—Fifteen minutes after the Boston Red Sox defeated the St. Louis Cardinals to become World Series Champions, sources are now confirming that local man Bradley Ferrante, 26, is dedicating the trash can he’s lighting on fire to the victims of last April’s Boston Marathon bombings.

“4/15, never forget!” said a visibly intoxicated Ferrante before throwing an entire book of lit matches into the trash bin, stumbling slightly before kicking it to the ground, removing his shirt, and screaming “Go Sox!” “Dynasty!” “Big Papi! We love you, Papi!” and “We’re the fuckin’ champs, baby! Boston Strong! Yankees suck! Woo!”

At press time, Ferrante was hunched over on Boylston Street, vomiting roughly 800 yards from the marathon’s finish line.

The 9 Healthiest Alcoholic Drinks Of The Day

I said "healthiEST," not healthy. It's all relative.

From Gizmodo:

"In the quest for healthy booziness, we talked to Ms. Maren Robinson, certified nutritional consultant (CNC) and master of public health (MPH). As a holistic nutritionist, she doesn't just count calories—she looks at a cocktail's comprehensive health profile."

"These drinks are on this list based on their nutrient value, caloric density, potential for obtaining fruit and vegetable servings, sugar content, antioxidant level, and medicinal properties. Plus flavor."

Ingredients: Bourbon, Sweet Vermouth, Angostura Bitters

Now we're talking! One of the most delicious, flavorful cocktails is actually pretty healthy. Let's break it down.

Bourbon: More flavor with fewer calories than other liquors.

Vermouth is a fortified wine. Its flavors have been altered by macerating various herbs over a few weeks, and usually a hard liquor is added. Vermouth typically contains about 45 calories per ounce.

Robinson: "Angostura bitters are alleged to have restorative properties. It was reported to be a remedy for hiccups and also can be used as a cure for an upset stomach."

Ingredients: Grapes

A bit of wine is actually pretty good for you.

Red wine packs in a ton of nutritional value. It contains four to nine precent of your DRI of iron, 9.4 percent for potassium, and five percent of magnesium. But it is also filled with antioxidants, some of which have been shown to reduce blood clots and lower 'bad' cholesterol in rats."

Calories tend to range from about 110 to 130 for a five ounce glass, which ain't bad at all.

Ingredients: Magic and Unicorn kisses

Guinness used to have a slogan: "Guinness is good for you!" Well, it really kinda is. First off, despite how thick it is, it's way lower in calories than you think—128 calories per 12 ounces. Not bad. Because it's made from more whole grains than lager (especially mega-brewery stuff), it's full of nutrients. In fact, it's been shown to have similar antioxidant properties to red wine. Want more? In 2003, the University of Wisconsin discovered that consuming Guinness may help the reduce of blood clots and heart problems.

Ingredients: Vodka, tomato juice, horseradish, Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco, celery, salt, and pepper.

This is Robinson's pick as the healthiest of them all. It's very low cal and it packs in a ton of nutrients.

Tomatoes: "The most active ingredients are: lycopene (prostate protective), catechins (skin protective), zeaxanthin (eye protective), vitamin A, and flavonoid anti-oxidants such as α and ß-carotenes, xanthins and lutein, Vitamin C and potassium. Tomatos have many cancer protective properties."

Horseradish: Fights common cold, analgesic, antibiotic properties, protective against UTI's, cancer-fighting properties called glucosinolates.

Celery: Known to fight cancer, lower high-blood pressure, ease insomnia, prevent kidney stones, and help with digestive problems.

Ingredients: Various

Guess what? Flavor isn't bad for you! Forget the vodka. Bourbon generally ranges between 97 and 110 calories per 1.5 ounces (depending on the brand). In other words, you get fifty times more flavor for a small handful more calories.

Gin's caloric averages are right in the same range. Now, there's not much nutrition here, and a daily heavy dose of bourbon or gin will certainly kill you. And be careful with is what you mix it with—use super sugary mixers and you defeat the purpose. Go neat or on the rocks, with a soda back. (Note: most hard liquors share the same properties. Tequila, light rum, etc. You're welcome.)

(See the rest at Gizmodo.)

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

News: Singer Lou Bega Assures Fans He Didn't Die

Oh thank heavens. From The Globe and Mail.
Singer Lou Bega assures fans he’s still alive in wake of Lou Reed mix-up

Oct. 29, 2013

It turns out rumours of Lou Bega’s death have been greatly exaggerated.

New Musical Express reports that the German recording artist, best known for his bouncy 1999 hit Mambo No. 5, has steadily been receiving condolences in recent days from people who have mistaken him for Lou Reed, who passed away last weekend from liver disease.

Bega himself pointed out that he was still among the living in a post on his Facebook page on Monday, which read: “R.I.P. Lou Reed the genius who took walks on the wild side. P.S.: I have been receiving tons of condolences because of a journalist confusing our identities. Lou Bega sends his condolences to Mr. Reed’s family.”

At present, the name of the journalist and media outlet that confused the two artists is not known.

(read more)

Pics Of The Day: One Tiny Hand

One tiny hand. From One Tiny Hand.

(More here)

Vid Of The Day: Late For Meeting

Alllllrighty then!

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

News: Britney Spears Music Used To Scare Off Somali Pirates

Reminds me of that airport in England that uses Tina Turner music to scare birds off the runway. From Breitbart.
Britney Spears Music Used To Scare Off Somali Pirates

Whoever believes that Britney Spears' music isn't powerful, need think again. Chart toppers like "Hit Me Baby One More Time" and "Oops I Did it Again" have proven to be effective weapons when blasted at approaching Somali Pirates who reportedly retreat at the mere sound of the songstress.

Rachel Owens, 34, a merchant navy officer on huge super tankers off the east coast of Africa says music is a really effective way of deterring the pirates and their high-speed skiffs: “Her songs have been chosen by the security team accompanying our tankers because they thought the pirates would hate them most.

"These guys can’t stand Western culture or music, making Britney’s hits perfect.”


Creepy Shots From Google Street View Of The Day

Bizarre randomness captured by the Google van. I've posted something similar before, but these are a lot creepier. From Mashable, where you can find more pics and explanations.

 Mashable: "An anonymous user on a paranormal message board insists this is an image of an angel returning to heaven. We're thinking it's probably just a glitch on Google Maps, but who knows?"

Mashable: "The town of New Baltimore, N.Y., is either the portal to hell, or Google Street View uploaded some very corrupted files. The entire town is similarly haunted-looking, thanks to a major Google glitch."

 What the hell is that next to the house?

Mashable: "This image set off a media panic when a Redditor first discovered it. The red streak along this dock in the Netherlands looks like evidence of a gruesome murder, but turned out to be a trail of water dragged along the wood by a wet dog." 

Mashable: "A Reddit user found this disconcerting image of an emaciated figure standing on a balcony in France. Although the scraggly-haired, demonic-looking shadow is most likely a tiki statue, Google has since blurred out the image. This has prompted paranormal enthusiasts to question the perfectly rational explanation to this creepy picture." 

Monday, October 28, 2013

Costume Of The Day: Wrecking Ball Pug

I'm probably the last one to see this. From the Miley Cyrus video.

News Of The Day: Joker Arrested for DUI

Sort of the Joker. Sort of Mr. Magoo. From The Smoking Gun.
Maine Motorist Dressed As The Joker Gets Arrested For Drunk Driving

Meet Dennis Lalime.

The 64-year-old Maine resident was returning home from a Halloween party this weekend when he lost control of his 2002 Buick Regal and crashed into several trees and a rock.

As first reported by the Morning Sentinel, after police arrived at the scene, Lalime, who was not injured in the crash, was arrested for drunk driving.

Which then allowed cops to snap the above mug shot of the made-up Lalime, who went to the party as the Joker, Batman’s green-haired nemesis.

Lalime posed for a second booking photo after scrubbing off his black and white face paint and removing the green highlights from his hair.

Amusing Group Halloween Costumes Of The Day

My wife and I wore related costumes to a Halloween party once. Thing One had a wee bit too much to drink. Thing Two was not amused. Thing One had a blast. Thing Two did not. That was the last time we wore related costumes.


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