Wednesday, April 3, 2013

News: STD Had Awesome Time On Spring Break

From The Onion, of course.
STD Had Awesome Time On Spring Break

PANAMA CITY, FL—Following a weeklong vacation in Florida, local sexually transmitted disease gonorrhea announced it had an awesome time during this year’s spring break. 

“Oh man, PCB was the best—I was at a new party practically every night and met a ton of cool people,” said the common bacteria-based genital tract infection, noting that most of the dozens of coeds it encountered at a local Days Inn were so drunk they probably barely even remember meeting the contagious disease. 

“I mean, some of the people you meet during spring break are cool to hook up with for one or two nights, but I’m always looking for the relationships that last for life. Those are what really count.” 

Gonorrhea went on to say that while spring break may be over, it definitely plans to get back in touch with that blonde from Ohio State sometime very soon.

March Motivational Poster Roundup

"You gotta keep 'em motivated." - The Offspring

News: Gate To Hell Found In Turkey

Archaeologists in Philly, Detroit, and Chuck E Cheese's pack up their tools and go home.

From NBC News.
Pluto's 'Gate to Hell' Uncovered in Turkey

By Rossella Lorenzi
Discovery News

A “gate to hell” has emerged from ruins in southwestern Turkey, Italian archaeologists have announced.

Known as Pluto's Gate -- Ploutonion in Greek, Plutonium in Latin -- the cave was celebrated as the portal to the underworld in Greco-Roman mythology and tradition.

Historic sources located the site in the ancient Phrygian city of Hierapolis, now called Pamukkale, and described the opening as filled with lethal mephitic vapors.

“This space is full of a vapor so misty and dense that one can scarcely see the ground. Any animal that passes inside meets instant death,” the Greek geographer Strabo (64/63 BC -- about 24 A.D.) wrote.

“I threw in sparrows and they immediately breathed their last and fell,” he added.

(Read more)


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