Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Things My Dog Does And Does Not Bark At (Of The Day)

Great dog, my Molly. Very protective, but confused.

The UPS guys bringing me goodies from Amazon

The Jimmy John's delivery guys bringing me delicious sandwiches

My daughter's harmless little girlfriends

The mailman bringing me a stack of bills every day.

Squirrels on the front porch, inches away from her.

Jehovah's Witnesses and other church people who want me to turn or burn

The shirtless crackhead trying to enter our house during a thunderstorm last year because "God wanted to strike him down"

The endless parade of well-meaning but pushy college students who want to talk to me about Greenpeace, Sierra Club, Chattahoochee River Keepers, and so on.

The neighbor who lets her dog shit on our lawn every damn night.

Garb Of The Day: Star Wars Onesies

From This Is Why I'm Broke: "Going to bed will turn into the best part of the day once you begin sleeping in the Star Wars adult onesies. Star Wars fans will be able to dress up like Boba Fett, Vader, a Stormtrooper, or a valiant Jedi warrior every single night and sleep like a baby in this incredibly cozy onesie."

Only $62.21. Douchebag male model sold separately.

News: DHS Warns U.S. In Danger Of Another Eagles Reunion Album

From The Onion.
DHS Warns U.S. In Danger Of Another Eagles Reunion Album

Nov. 5, 2013

WASHINGTON—Issuing a nationwide high alert and urging all Americans to “be prepared for the worst,” Department of Homeland Security acting Secretary Rand Beers announced today the “serious and imminent threat” of a possible new Eagles reunion album in the coming weeks or months.

“According to alarming chatter we’ve intercepted between Don Henley and Glenn Frey in recent days, the two songwriters may already be ‘kicking a few ideas around’ and ‘just riffing and seeing where it takes us,’ developments that traditionally suggest the high probability of another potential Eagles reunion album scenario in the near future,” Beers told reporters.

He added that the DHS has also received high-level intelligence verifying that known record producer Bill Szymczyk recently booked studio time at The Doghouse recording facility in Los Angeles.

“We are taking these threats very seriously and would like all citizens to be prepared for the possibility of a 70-minute new Eagles studio album, with a potential eight extra minutes of bonus cuts and acoustic live tracks.”

(read more)

Celebrity Googly Eyes Of The Day

Because googly eyes are funny.

Via Celebrity Googly Eyes


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